In this weeks interview I spoke with long term Ashtanga practitioner Derick Yu about what it's like being in a relationship where his wife doesn't also practice. He also touches on how yoga has helped him deal with road rage and everyday life. Enjoy.......
Clint: You're in a relationship where you practice and your wife doesn't. How does that work? Like has it been a challenge or is she accepting, because I know there's probably a lot of people out there who have a similar situation. And some also have, their partner practices as well, so from your perspective how does it all tie in with your relationship?
Derick: Because she knew me before the practice and she knew me when I started. And she can see the big change in it. So for her, if it's good for you, go ahead and do it. That's always been the motto for her. If it's good for you, if it makes you feel happy, then I'll support everything. Even for her, if she happens to start some sort of activity where I can see a sense of fulfillment, go right ahead I don't care. Because in the end... it's funny, every time after my practice I'd go home she always asked me "How was your practice, how was your practice?" And I'd be honest, I'd say "I felt lethargic," or "I felt a little bit stiff," or "I was very open and it was good." But for her she always wanted to make sure that you maintain that sense of practice. Because she knew that whether or not physically you may have felt tight or you may have felt a little bit stiff, in the end you still went, she knows your day will be good. And that helps. I understand that it is a lifestyle change as well, where your partner might want to go out that evening, and you don't feel like it because the practice takes precendence. For her, she understands that it's important to, not just to me, but to the both of us, so she feels like, go right ahead. Like, in fact there are even points where, at the risk of sounding very square, whenever it gets past 8:30, she'd would say "Go to bed."
Derick: Yeah. Go to bed, because you've got a practice tomorrow. Because she knew that if I don't practice the next day, or I just do a little bit, she can tell right away that there's a certain sense of grouchiness on my part.
Clint: Sure, yeah.
Derick: And that's how we maintain it.
Clint: So overall, has the practices has benefitted your relationship?
Derick: Oh yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Before I could be short in a lot of situations, whether it be driving, having road rage, having to comment right away on something you know without having to think about what that other person may be going through. But now it's a lot more... She can tell I'm a little bit more like, "Oh yeah, let it go." There are several times before where somebody actually told me, "On your next exhale, it should be an exhale of letting go." So the thing, your road, you're driving and somebody cuts you off, take an inhale, you inhale that rage and then you exhale, it's more of like, it's done. Yeah, I've always had, I've had problems with road rage before, and this thing has really helped me a lot. I never tend to, you know that point where you're going past that car and you stare at a guy? I don't do that anymore. I just like, let it go.
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